Another Sex Blog

One year ago tomorrow, I quit smoking. That’s a much bigger event than most people realize because as a fairly direct result of quitting I ended up on Adult FriendFinder.

I still miss smoking something awful. For those of you who have never smoked, really, you have no idea what it’s like. I’m not saying it’s the worst thing in the world. I’m not saying “you can’t imagine what it’s like” as a challenge of any sort. I just don’t think it’s really understandable to someone else. And I ALSO don’t think it’s necessarily understandable even if you *are* a smoker. Even if you’re an EX-smoker. Someone who’s already quit, too. Because the stories I’ve heard from other quitters are often unlike what I experienced as well as unlike other stories. It seems to me that it’s a very individual and unique experience for each person. Hell, even for each TRY for each person.

For me, quitting smoking is still very similar to having someone close to me die. (And, yes, I *have* experienced that, which is why I feel comfortable making the comparison.) I still *forget* that I don’t smoke. I’ll be going to my car and think “oh, hey, I’ll have a smoke when I get in… oh, wait. I don’t do that anymore.” And then miss it all over again. I’m not miserable like I was the first few days, but I’m not “over it” either — as some people seem to think I should be after a year.

Back to my *celebration*, though. I took bupropion (aka Wellbutrin or Zyban) to help with the quitting. A side effect of bupropion, for many people, is WOW extreme increase in libido!!!

Though I’d had a generic account on AFF for years, I finally filled out the profile for real and started *using* the site.

I’m so happy that I did that. It hasn’t been all sunshine and roses. I’ve gotten nasty emails that I reacted way too sensitively to. I’ve had my feelings hurt. I’ve been insulted and used.

Overall, being an active member of Adult FriendFinder is one of the best things I’ve ever done. (Yeah, better than quitting smoking, smartasses! )

Mostly I’ve had extraordinary compliments thrown my way. And verbal (or written) approval (for lack of a better word) is VERY important and satisfying to me. I’ve “met” other women who share my kinks as well as those who don’t, but respect my preferences.

I’ve had some really GREAT sex. I’ve been able to do things that I always wanted to at least try.

As cheesy as it sounds, and I know it does sound horribly cheesy, I feel empowered.

So, uhm, thanks everyone.

I just realized that this whole thing might sound like a goodbye message. It’s NOT! I’m STILL having a grand ‘ole time! I just thought there should be some sort of acknowledgment around this time. I can’t believe it’s ONLY been a year.

Here’s to many more to come.

(Hey! I made a pun!)