Another Sex Blog

I’m right in the middle of a major bout of depression. I do take anti-depressants (actually, go see some of my very first posts explaining how the one I’m on led to me being here…), but antidepressants do NOT, like people think, just make you happy all the time. They do make it so that I’m not depressed ALL the time, and when a bout comes on, I’m able to be aware of the fact that it’s temporary.

I know there are probably people who think, oh, so she gets depressed, must have low self-esteem, that must be why she “acts out” sexually. No. The opposite, is closer to the truth. It’s when I’m happy and feeling good about myself that I’m most active on AFF. I’m really writing and explaining this on this blog just to kind of announce that I’m gonna be pretty INactive on here for a while… til it passes.

How unusual IS it for a woman to really really really love sex? In all it’s raunchiest. In all it’s kinkiest. To love cock. To love being fucked.

To think about it at LEAST once every time seeing (literally) a new guy?

C’mon, I can’t really be that unusual, right?

I don’t understand my female friends who SAY that sex just isn’t that important to them. That they never get SO turned on that they just HAVE to masturbate or go insane.

I know there are other women like me out there. And likely on here. Why do we have to be such freaks?

(Btw, I feel complete sympathy for guys who *don’t* constantly think of sex… I’m guessing they feel similar to how I do in regards to this post.)

I love being a woman. I love dressing up and makeup and my breasts and multiple orgasms and lots and lots of things that come with being female. The pluses, to me, totally surpass the minuses (of which there are many!). But, sexually, I feel like I can relate more to how guys are. Or at least are stereotypically.

Dammit, I think I’m a guy man inside a woman’s body. Except for the boobs thing. I’m so glad I have mine.

Dan Savage is… amazing. A genius. My hero. I LOVE that guy. I read his column every week and last week was the first time I was, well, disappointed in his advice.

A guy wrote in asking what to do about differing libido levels in a couple. His wife had bought and read the book I’d Rather Eat Chocolate: Learning to Love My Low Libido by Joan Sewell who declares that ALL women have a lower libido than men do. They just naturally don’t want sex as often as guys, it’s just how it is, and nothing’s going to change that.

Mr. Savage did not say that this was a load of bullshit. THAT’S what I found so disappointing. I mean, come ON, I *know* he gets lots of letters with the same complaint, but with the genders switched. So, I got pissed off. And then promptly forgot about it.

Until I got my weekly email letting me know that Dan Savage’s new column has been posted. (I read it via The Village Voice online, btw.)

YAY for Dan Savage’s March 20th, 2007 column!!!! (And indirectly, the one on March 13th, too.)

He admits that he “accepted the premise” and “ran with it” because he knew that Ms. Sewell and other idiots like her (my choice of words, not his) would just ignore him if he said, hell YEAH there are women with raging libidos who want sex all the time. He also knew that his loyal readers would write in to him in response taking him to task.

Oh, how lazy I feel for not having done the same!

The letters from readers this week rock.

And I love the complaints these women bring up, besides with Dan for not remembering them, too. Sure, guys SAY that they want a woman who wants sex all the time, but I’ve rarely found a guy that means that. A quote from one of the letters:

On an average day, I would prefer to have sex twice. This is too much sex for the average man. Men think they want sex every day, but when given the opportunity, they start complaining about how tired they are after a week or two.

Yup.

Btw, his original advice for the guy whose wife didn’t want sex nearly as often as he did was advice he’s given many times:

One thing that hasn’t changed in the wake of Sewell’s book is my advice to women with low libidos: You can have strict monogamy or you can have a low libido, ladies, but you can’t have both. If monogamy is a priority, you’re gonna have to put out, i.e., regular vaginal intercourse and the occasional tide-him-over handjob and/or blowjob, cheerfully given. If all you wanna do is sit there and eat chocolate, you’re gonna have to turn a blind eye to lap dances and mistresses and happy endings and the return of trade, i.e., gay guys giving NSA head to straight guys.

I (and the other hot and horny women who DID write to him last week — damn, I’m lazy) agree. But, it goes the other way, too. Argh, I could go on and on and on agreeing with what these women wrote, quoting bits and pieces.

I really did know I wasn’t the only women to have a higher sex drive than is “normal.” For women OR for men. But, it’s still nice to hear from others like me. You know?

READ IT!

I go through periods of time where I am super super horny. I’m in experiencing one of those phases now, which is probably what has inspired me to actually start this blog. It’s very distracting.

Whenever I hear about “sex addiction,” I’ve thought “oh, come on!” I mean, really, does everything have to be an addiction nowadays? Just because someone really likes sex and/or spends a lot of time thinking about it or having it, that means they have an addiction? But in the past week or so, I’ve been wondering. What if there are people who are experiencing what I’m going through temporarily all the time? It’s been a few years since I last had one of these episodes. I forgot how consuming it can be.

I have no idea what brings these super-charged-libido times on. I figure it must be something hormonal. About 2 months ago I quit smoking with the help of bupropion (aka Wellbutrin or Zyban). I’ve also been taking the antidepressant Effexor for the last 10 years. (Wow! It’s been that long?) Most antidepressants have the side-effect of dampening one’s sex drive. Actually, the first antidepressant I was prescribed — can’t remember which one — had me not losing my sex drive but making me unable to reach orgasm. Not a good situation. Anyway. Effexor, I think, did dampen my sex drive some, but I didn’t lose it all together and I could still come when I was turned on. Bupropion, on the other hand, is often prescribed for people who lose their sex drive with other antidepressants since it’s not supposed to have that side effect.

When I did some research (I have access to a medical library) on bupropion, I found that with bupropion the “Libido effect” is “increased.” So, is that’s what’s causing this sex mania? Did it just undo what Effexor had done? Or is it even more increased over my pre-antidepressant days?

I have to say that, for now, I’m enjoying it.

[an hour later]

Maybe not. I’m seriously considering going into the bathroom to get off. Just to relieve the tension that’s unrelenting. I’ve fantasized in the past about telling someone that I did this, even though I never really did. Weird that now I may really have to do what I fantasized about making up…