Another Sex Blog

So, in an effort to satisfy my recently raging libido, I put a profile and photo on adultfriendfinder.com.

I’ve already written about the experience — in an email to an ex-boyfriend and in an online forum. (The ex-boyfriend wanted to know, btw.)

I have lots more to say about the people on the site and other aspects of the whole deal, but I’m lazy and for now I’m going to re-post what I’ve already written, edited.

Beginning with the online forum post, which is tame and includes advice. Then the email which is less tame, but not too detailed either.

First I had an almost completely blank profile that explained that I only had a profile because you have to have one in order to browse other profiles and that’s all I wanted to do. I still got random responses from guys who obviously just email any female.

When I finally put the time in to write up an actual profile of who I am and what I was very specifically looking for, the number of responses I got rose A LOT. Still *lots* of junk responses by guys who obviously didn’t read my profile, but also a number from ones who obviously did read it.

I can’t imagine what the mathematical formula would be to demonstrate the increased number of emails I got once I put up a picture. Over 180 emails in two days.

Can I just say that the level of literacy in this country is in a very sad, very very sorry state? I deleted any emails that basically looked as though they were written by someone who was drunk, blind, and typing with their toes. Yes, there were a lot of pictures of male genitalia sent to me. Though this didn’t bother me, sending a “real” photo — face or casual photo made me much more interested in possibly responding. (I guess, as a female, I’m saying this as advice to any guys out there who want to try this.)

I did start emailing someone I met online and we did meet up. He was a completely “normal” guy and I’m very happy I had the guts to actually go through with it and meet someone that I found interesting and attractive. (I’ve explained to some people who answered via email that I was really wondering if so-called normal guys ever used these websites. I know “normal” isn’t the best word to use, but it does seem to convey what I’m trying to say…)

Although it seems as though using these websites is frustrating for guys who outnumber the women, as a woman, having too many responses to wade through, trying to find any that have anything at all to do with the profile you posted is also frustrating. And I really had to get past my politeness instinct in order to just delete some of the emails without any response from me or even looking at the guy’s profile. It still feels rude to do that, but otherwise I was just too overwhelmed and couldn’t begin to take it seriously.

I did respond to one ad on Craigslist Casual Encounters, too, but the answer I got to my response was so… ugh… insulting and horrible… it really put me off on the idea of using that site. Actually, for at least a day, I was pretty sure I never wanted to interact with another MAN every again. Obviously, I got over it. But it was very unpleasant. So, for the women, I’d advise being prepared for some emails like that and you have to be able to not take it personally.

Also, similar to what one of the anon emails above says about filtering when using alt.com, I’m going to rewrite my profile and be very specific about what I will NOT respond to and what I’m NOT interested in. I know I’ll still get the emails that disregard what I wrote, but I think that will make me not feel guilty about deleting them.

Oh, one more bit of advice for guys… if you’ve written a thought out email, included a face photo, have a filled out profile, etc. and you still don’t hear back from a woman you wrote to, give her at least a few days, if not even a few weeks. It may take a while for her to have the time to get back to you with an email that she’s put time into herself and also to get up the courage to answer you. Not that the guys aren’t nervous, too, but I really think that the women are much more so. Just an FYI.

More details:

Where to start?

I like telling guys my fantasies. So, my profile said I was only interested in emailing, not actual meeting. I kind of gave a “preview” of the kind of emails I wanted to exchange. It described my, uhm, oral fixation. Bet you didn’t know I had an oral fixation, did you?
I did start a kind of ongoing story telling email with one guy. The problem is that I get so many responses that it was kind of overwhelming and it would take me a while to get back to the email. (No, not in the same way it takes me a while to get back to yours!) Most guys were more interested in IM than email. I hate IM. No thanks.

Another thing is that guys really like sending pictures of their penis. Really. Let me tell you that, in general, that is not a turnon for women. Not necessarily a turnoff, but not a turn on. Pictures of chest, shoulders, legs, arms — if they guy is in shape — those are a turn on. So, I didn’t *mind* the penis pictures (doesn’t that have a nice ring to it?), but didn’t care much. Then I got an email which had three photos attached. Two totally normal face pictures. The guy was kinda cute. Not drop dead gorgeous, but still good looking. And a picture of the most gorgeous cock I can remember seeing. Seriously. I can’t even tell you why it looked so good. It wasn’t because of size, which I figure any guy hearing this story would immediately assume. The only thing not perfect about it is that he’s circumsized.

And it was an email that was written the way my profile asked it to be written. It wasn’t filled with bad spelling. (Oh, and that was funny that I misspelled “opening” when I was writing that my eyes were closed…. I also at first misspelled “intelligent” in my online profile. How ironic is that?) So, I looked at his profile. Not a lot of detail but he was very clear that he was looking for and loved oral sex. Getting oral sex, I mean. So, I emailed him.

And we emailed a few times back and forth. He emailed me three more photos that were of another woman sucking him. Damn, that really did it to me, I think.

Friday night I sent him an email saying I wanted to meet on Saturday. Even though I hadn’t originally intended to meet anyone for real at all. So, we set up a “date” to meet at a bar Saturday at about 6 p.m. For safety’s sake and all, I was only going to meet him for the first time in a public place. Plus, if we were going to continue the “date” that night, I knew I was going to need a bit of alcoholic inspiration. I recognized him right away when he showed up. He looked exactly like the photos (the non-porn ones). And he was totally normal. Actually, I’ve been on a few dates with guys from “normal” online dating sites and each one of them has seemed to me to be a little weird. A little off. This guy, though, was absolutely normal. And totally nice about the fact that I was extremely nervous.

So, we went back to his place. I wanted one more drink, so he got me a beer. And we talked some. Mostly about sex stuff — like how many people have you slept with, have you ever done this with someone online before, etc. Then he asked me if I was still nervous because he really wanted to kiss me. So I kissed him. And we started groping and making out on his couch. He kind of freaked out — I don’t know if it was Wow! Happy freaked out or freaked-out freaked out — when he discovered that I wasn’t wearing any panties under my dress. That’s when he said we should go to his bedroom.

He only had a bright overhead light in his room. Or else total darkness. No inbetween option. So he turned on the tv in the room and muted it so that gave us some light but not glaring light.

Oh, I forgot. In the email where we were figuring out where and when we were going to meet, he suggested the bar and said there was no need for us to get dinner because he was going to feed me and didn’t want my apetite spoiled. !!!! I swear I’ve fanatsized about a guys saying those exact words to me…

I gave him a long and thorough blow job and when he was ready to come he jerked off and aimed at my mouth. I missed some of his cum and licked it off of him. And I came when I was waiting for him to shoot into my mouth.

Then we kind of flopped down on the bed and I asked him how long he needed to recuperate.
He told me that he could keep himself busy while we waited. He went down on me. He had his fingers inside of me while he used his mouth. He’s only the second guy in my entire life who’s made me come that way.

And then I sucked him off again.

And then I had to leave because he was meeting his friends at a bar at 9 p.m. I was home by 8:30.

And telling you this story is only a bit less exciting for me than the actual experience was. Because “kissing and telling” turns me on.
The end.