Another Sex Blog

Dan Savage is… amazing. A genius. My hero. I LOVE that guy. I read his column every week and last week was the first time I was, well, disappointed in his advice.

A guy wrote in asking what to do about differing libido levels in a couple. His wife had bought and read the book I’d Rather Eat Chocolate: Learning to Love My Low Libido by Joan Sewell who declares that ALL women have a lower libido than men do. They just naturally don’t want sex as often as guys, it’s just how it is, and nothing’s going to change that.

Mr. Savage did not say that this was a load of bullshit. THAT’S what I found so disappointing. I mean, come ON, I *know* he gets lots of letters with the same complaint, but with the genders switched. So, I got pissed off. And then promptly forgot about it.

Until I got my weekly email letting me know that Dan Savage’s new column has been posted. (I read it via The Village Voice online, btw.)

YAY for Dan Savage’s March 20th, 2007 column!!!! (And indirectly, the one on March 13th, too.)

He admits that he “accepted the premise” and “ran with it” because he knew that Ms. Sewell and other idiots like her (my choice of words, not his) would just ignore him if he said, hell YEAH there are women with raging libidos who want sex all the time. He also knew that his loyal readers would write in to him in response taking him to task.

Oh, how lazy I feel for not having done the same!

The letters from readers this week rock.

And I love the complaints these women bring up, besides with Dan for not remembering them, too. Sure, guys SAY that they want a woman who wants sex all the time, but I’ve rarely found a guy that means that. A quote from one of the letters:

On an average day, I would prefer to have sex twice. This is too much sex for the average man. Men think they want sex every day, but when given the opportunity, they start complaining about how tired they are after a week or two.

Yup.

Btw, his original advice for the guy whose wife didn’t want sex nearly as often as he did was advice he’s given many times:

One thing that hasn’t changed in the wake of Sewell’s book is my advice to women with low libidos: You can have strict monogamy or you can have a low libido, ladies, but you can’t have both. If monogamy is a priority, you’re gonna have to put out, i.e., regular vaginal intercourse and the occasional tide-him-over handjob and/or blowjob, cheerfully given. If all you wanna do is sit there and eat chocolate, you’re gonna have to turn a blind eye to lap dances and mistresses and happy endings and the return of trade, i.e., gay guys giving NSA head to straight guys.

I (and the other hot and horny women who DID write to him last week — damn, I’m lazy) agree. But, it goes the other way, too. Argh, I could go on and on and on agreeing with what these women wrote, quoting bits and pieces.

I really did know I wasn’t the only women to have a higher sex drive than is “normal.” For women OR for men. But, it’s still nice to hear from others like me. You know?

READ IT!