Another Sex Blog

Dan Savage is… amazing. A genius. My hero. I LOVE that guy. I read his column every week and last week was the first time I was, well, disappointed in his advice.

A guy wrote in asking what to do about differing libido levels in a couple. His wife had bought and read the book I’d Rather Eat Chocolate: Learning to Love My Low Libido by Joan Sewell who declares that ALL women have a lower libido than men do. They just naturally don’t want sex as often as guys, it’s just how it is, and nothing’s going to change that.

Mr. Savage did not say that this was a load of bullshit. THAT’S what I found so disappointing. I mean, come ON, I *know* he gets lots of letters with the same complaint, but with the genders switched. So, I got pissed off. And then promptly forgot about it.

Until I got my weekly email letting me know that Dan Savage’s new column has been posted. (I read it via The Village Voice online, btw.)

YAY for Dan Savage’s March 20th, 2007 column!!!! (And indirectly, the one on March 13th, too.)

He admits that he “accepted the premise” and “ran with it” because he knew that Ms. Sewell and other idiots like her (my choice of words, not his) would just ignore him if he said, hell YEAH there are women with raging libidos who want sex all the time. He also knew that his loyal readers would write in to him in response taking him to task.

Oh, how lazy I feel for not having done the same!

The letters from readers this week rock.

And I love the complaints these women bring up, besides with Dan for not remembering them, too. Sure, guys SAY that they want a woman who wants sex all the time, but I’ve rarely found a guy that means that. A quote from one of the letters:

On an average day, I would prefer to have sex twice. This is too much sex for the average man. Men think they want sex every day, but when given the opportunity, they start complaining about how tired they are after a week or two.

Yup.

Btw, his original advice for the guy whose wife didn’t want sex nearly as often as he did was advice he’s given many times:

One thing that hasn’t changed in the wake of Sewell’s book is my advice to women with low libidos: You can have strict monogamy or you can have a low libido, ladies, but you can’t have both. If monogamy is a priority, you’re gonna have to put out, i.e., regular vaginal intercourse and the occasional tide-him-over handjob and/or blowjob, cheerfully given. If all you wanna do is sit there and eat chocolate, you’re gonna have to turn a blind eye to lap dances and mistresses and happy endings and the return of trade, i.e., gay guys giving NSA head to straight guys.

I (and the other hot and horny women who DID write to him last week — damn, I’m lazy) agree. But, it goes the other way, too. Argh, I could go on and on and on agreeing with what these women wrote, quoting bits and pieces.

I really did know I wasn’t the only women to have a higher sex drive than is “normal.” For women OR for men. But, it’s still nice to hear from others like me. You know?

READ IT!

I went shopping today for a webcam.

All I really knew was that I wanted a Logitech brand one, but other than that I was pretty clueless.

(For someone who’s fairly geeky when it comes to computers, I know almost nothing about hardware.)

So, looking bewildered, I’m sure, the salesman asked if he could help me. A college aged kid.

“Yeah, I want to buy a webcam, but I’m not sure what the differences are between them all. I know I want a Logitech, but that’s all I’m sure of.”

Salesman: “well, first, what do you want to use the webcam for?”

I look at him. Wait a beat. “The same thing *everyone* buys a webcam for. No matter what they *say* they’re buying it for.”

LOL. I crack me up.

So. Now I have a webcam. Whatever shall I do with it?

So yesterday, I found myself exceptionally horny. And I really wanted to do something slutty and trashy. So, I emailed my latest orgasm inducer and asked for a dare of some sort.

He gave me one and asked that I tell him about it afterwards. I did the dare and I wrote to him about it and he’s said it was ok to share. So, I will.

Well, things didn’t go exactly as I’m guessing you imagined them. I made a few changes to your dare, myself, but only in keeping with the spirit of things. First, I didn’t take off my tights before I left my office. I did it in my car. It’s COLD out and my car is about a mile from my office!

Second, my getting turned on (and wet) depends much more on what’s going on in my head than touching does. I can become sopping wet just sitting still and having raunchy thoughts a lot faster than I can being fingered, fucked, licked, etc. if my mind is elsewhere. Oh, with the exception of my nipples — I could be thinking about something *completely* non-sexual and still get turned on if my nipples are stimulated! So, I was wearing a cardigan sweater with a stretchy camisole underneath. I hiked my skirt up. But, I also pulled my tits out of my camisole. I was wearing my puffy red jacket, but unzipped. As I drove, if someone really looked, they’d be able to see my bare breasts. Or me tweaking my nipples at every stop. And other times, too.

By the time I got home (about a 30 min. ride), I probably could have just rubbed my pussy once or twice and I would have had a powerful orgasm. But, I got out of my car and went inside.

I put my purse and coat on the chair inside the door like I always do. Shoes off by the door, like always, also. I went into the bathroom, closed the door, and took off my sweater, camisole, and bra. Then I remembered that you wanted pictures! By that time, my clit was aching. As I walked, I could feel the slipperiness between my pussy lips. I dared not touch and check how wet my panties were… oh, since you’re probably curious, they were black bikini style satin, with multi-colored hearts on them. I didn’t touch because I wouldn’t be able to stop and not just cum right then and there. So, I kept pinching my nipples, almost absentmindedly. I went into my bedroom, right next to the bathroom. And, wtf… my bedroom is a MESS! There was NO way I was going to find my camera in there! It wasn’t in the first place I looked and I just didn’t have the patience to look all over. Sorry, no pictures.

I went back into the bathroom and got into the tub. I started to crouch, then realized I was still wearing my skirt. Doh! Stood up. Off came the skirt; I threw it on the floor. I leaned back in the tub, sitting with my knees up and spread apart. I slipped a hand, my left, into my panties and lightly fingered my clit. My right hand was still alternating between my nipples, pinching and pulling and raking my nails over them. Let me tell you… it took a lot of self-control to not use my palm, hard, against my entire cleft… pressing and rubbing myself to climax.

I stopped, pushed up onto my heels into a crouching position. Did you know that it’s difficult to start peeing when your cunt is engorged with blood (i.e. all aroused)??? I found that instead of concentrating on it, I had to completely relax and think of other things. Then at first, it came slowly. Then at, well, normal speed. I felt it, hot, running down my thigh. I have no idea if you’ve seen a woman urinate or not. I think most or at least many women have seen a man do it, but not necessarily the other way around. It’s different. It doesn’t necessarily run straight away from one’s body in a stream. Sometimes it creeps along your skin before flowing off. So, I got a bit messy. When I finished, I just sat back again and *finally* used my palm. But, now I couldn’t quite cum. Argh!

“Water sports” just doesn’t turn me on. It’s not repulsive or turn me OFF. It’s just… well, it’s just pee. It’s like if I sneezed during sex. Kind of inconsequential. Telling you about it is infinitely more exciting than the act itself.

I ran the water and rinsed myself off. Our shower has a hand shower to it, so I took that down and used it. I dried myself. I went into my bedroom, climbed into bed, naked, under my covers and got my pillow between my thighs. I closed my eyes and remembered driving home, with my breasts almost, but not quite, visible to all… I humped. And came. And then I fell asleep!!

The end.

Wow. I just read this online at the Discovery Channel website:

“Sexual activity for men and women, straight or gay, raises testosterone levels, which, at least in women, fuels the desire for intercourse, increases the likelihood of experiencing an orgasm and heightens the individual’s belief in her own sexiness, recent studies have found.”

and

“The researchers determined partnered men and women had the lowest overall testosterone levels, while polyamorous men and women both had higher amounts of testosterone than single or monogamously partnered individuals.”

No wonder I’m so damn horny all the time.

One of the best orgasms I ever had was… last night. I was primed by multiple orgasms earlier in the evening. G-spot stimulation ROCKS! LOL.

The more sex I have, the hornier I get. I just want more, More, MORE! I seem to be able to cum easier if I’ve already cum earlier, too. Though the intensity of the orgasms get weaker each time. Usually.

Last night I had five or six orgasms. Dammit, I can’t remember exactly the order in which they happened. Anyway…

Earlier (which I seem to be saying too much here, but can’t think of a better word for some reason), two of the orgasms came primarily from nipple stimulation. My nipples, his mouth, and me grinding against him. I love that. Oh right, back to the super one…

So, oh, this is important, too. Earlier (that word again), I went down on him and then watched as he came. Cum spurted upwards and onto his stomach. Thick white globs. My clit throbbed with the anticipation. He let me lick him clean. It just seemed so dirty, slutty, depraved… just my thing! YumMY!

So, later… I’m lying on my back on the couch. He’s sitting upright and my legs are draped over his lap. At first it was like he was kind of just gently, absentmindedly, playing with my pussy. And my hips start rocking. They just do that, unless I consciously stop them, when I’m turned on. He started manipulating his fingers inside of me. And reached THE spot. I just kept feeling better and better, swiftly riding up that hill of climax.

What I’m thinking about while being stimulated or stimulating myself is a crucial ingredient in my orgasm, both the strength and whether it even happens. I couldn’t stop picturing his cum on his skin. Or remembering the taste of it. If I could have had a cock in my mouth at the same time, I might have died from elation. As it was, I was in a state of bliss.

I came hard.

And long.

When it was over, I still felt as if it were happening. It’s hard to explain. It’s like if you’re spanked hard. And afterwards, you can still FEEL the slap? It was like that. Like a tactile afterimage.

Wow.

Now, I’m just left wanting **MORE**.