I admit it. Size matters.
My friend’s description of me has outed me.
Uh, no, not about the part that I live at home with my mom. Yes, I AM a 31 year old single librarian living at home with her mother. Got a problem with that? Ok… anyway….
I like THIN men. I am super picky about this and I also feel horribly guilty about it. I feel un-feminist.
All these years, women have been complaining about men judging them on their body type. About how the average woman is a size X (don’t know what it is, actually) and not built like a model. And I’ve seen this happen myself. I have a great friend who is, to be honest, overweight. It’s not a secret. She’s actively trying to lose weight. And she *has* lost LOTS of weight in the last two years. She is kick ass hysterical and witty and bright. She’s into sports AND she’s “girly” in the way guys usually like women to be. But most guys aren’t interested in her that way. Because of her weight. Even guys who themselves could stand to lose quite a few.
So, I really feel bad for judging someone based on their body. For some reason, if I’m not attracted to someone’s face I don’t feel guilty. That seems much more of a to-each-one’s-own thing. See, I’m petite. I’m NOT rail thin. I don’t even have a flat stomach. But I am a size 2 or 4 in clothing. I’m about 5′3″. I weigh about 118 lbs. (I’m not absolutely positive about the height and my weight varies by a couple of pounds depending on the day.) And I like guys without, well, flab. I can’t think of a more polite way to put it. 
This is not fair on so many levels. I’ve already gone over the we shouldn’t judge women so if I judge men I’m an anti-feminist one. Then there’s the fact that I do have *some* flab. I mean, you can definitely grab onto my stomach or my butt. I like to say that women should be squishy, though. Men don’t have to be *hard* — well, ahem, they DO but THAT’S not what I’m talking about here. They can be soft. But not squishy. (I also like to say that I can’t lose the fat I do have because I’m diabetic and it’s much easier to stick a needle in when you’ve got a bit of fat to grab on to!)
I think, but I’m not really sure, that I’d be more likely to consider a larger guy if I were looking for a boyfriend. Or whatever a boyfriend/girlfriend is called once you’re over 30. Actually, yeah, I am pretty sure that’s true. I’ve had crushes on guys who were bigger than what my fantasy guy is like. I digress…
For sex. That’s different. I mean, c’mon, isn’t it? There’s a certain look that turns each of us on. And while I do believe that there IS a universal beauty. There are people who the vast majority of other people will say IS or IS NOT attractive, there’s a huge amount of variety, too. I was going to give an example of a guy everyone thinks is gorgeous but who I don’t. And my mind has gone blank. I can only think of the opposite. Steven Tyler. Even now at his current age. OMG. LOVE him. House M.D. Completely adore him. uhm… **mind wandering** What was my point?
So. THAT is one of the two major reasons I don’t reply or am not interested in someone. Does everyone know what the Body Mass Index (BM
is? Your BMI is your weight in pounds (for us Americans) multiplied by 703, then divide that number by the square of your height in inches. If that’s too complicated and you are actually interested in this, search for BMI calculator. That’ll get you a link to a page that will calculate it for you. Anyway. “Normal” is 18.5 - 24.9. And that seems about right for what I know about guys’ heights and weights and what I find attractive.
OTOH, there’s this guy I know who I’m absolutely crazy about and I’ll bet his BMI is over 24.9. So, what do I know?