Thank you and I’m sorry
Thank you, I had a wonderful gift last night.
I’m sorry, I was selfish and didn’t give back.
I met up IRL with a man whom I met through Adult FriendFinder.
And he spent the entire time we were together focusing on me.
I told him I felt guilty and selfish about that, and I still do. But, damn, was that nice.
I really do get turned on by pleasing others. I love getting someone excited and seeing and feeling and hearing and tasting that *I* am making them feel good. I could go on and on about that, and maybe I will someday. My point now is that I’m uncomfortable being the one who’s at the center of attention. And I’m definitely not used to it.
Ah, another aside pops into my head: Some might say that there shouldn’t BE one person at the center of attention. That everything should be equal and shared. And that might be true, but personally, I have a very difficult time with *simultaneous* pleasure. I’m easily orgasmic. If I focus. I can’t truly enjoy myself or really feel physical sensations unless that’s all I’m thinking about. I can’t focus on *giving* pleasure if I’m being distracted TOO much by other feelings. So, I close my eyes when I’m having sex, which bothers some. I can’t fully enjoy 69, which disappoints some. What was my point here? Oh yeah. Just wanted to explain why I talk about one person being the center of attention during sex.
Back to what I was saying. And being grateful about.
Somehow, this guy whom I’d never met before, and hadn’t even emailed extensively, made me comfortable enough to just FEEL.
Anyway, it was just really cool.
But, I still feel guilty about it. And selfish.
I told him I’d be writing about my experience with him in my blog, which I think he was okay with. (Right?) And eventually, I probably still will in the sense he probably expected. But, right now I’m just feeling wowed and grateful. Along with the selfish and guilty. I’m kind of still processing what was a very different experience for me.
So, does this posting have a point? Uhm, no, not really.
March 17th, 2008 at 9:27 pm
[…] I met up with someone I’d met with, via AdultFriendFinder, approximately 2 years ago. ( See Thank you and I’m sorry for what I wrote about the experience then. […]