Another Sex Blog

I like porn. I’ve always liked written pornography, stories, etc. The first few times I saw porn photos, I found them more interesting than a turn-on, but I did find them VERY interesting. I didn’t see video porn until I was in my 20s. Same thing, interesting at first and not a turn on until later.

You know those questions, like a parlor game, where your answer has a different meaning or interpretation than what it first seems like? I don’t think I’m describing that very well. I know there’s a name for this type of question and answer game, but I can’t think of it right now.

Anyway, there’s one that goes like this: You’re on an African safari vacation. While on tour, your guide stops to point out an event. There’s a lion savagely killing and/or eating his/her prey. What is your initial reaction to seeing this?

When I was asked this my answer was that I would be completely fascinated in a sort of scientific way. What does it REALLY look like, to see a wild animal devouring another animal? Then, I’d also wonder if it was real at all. Was this set up to happen at this time so that the tourists would be able to see it? Did that make the event itself any different? I’d wish I could get closer and really see all the details.

Then I found out that your answer was supposed to be the same as you felt (or would feel) the first time you saw porn! Ha! It totally worked for me. I’m fascinated by sex. By what others do and how they do it and what it looks like.

There are two major streams of thought I have about porn that I want to share via this blog. Which one should go first? Or are the inextricably connected? One is, to sum it up, probably inadequately, how does porn affect what our expectations are in regards to sex. The other is, why do women get so upset about their significant others’ use of porn?

I think opinion number two has a lot to do with assumptions about the answer to opinion number one.

My blog posts are always too long. My opinions/thoughts on these two topics regarding porn to be posted separately and later.

Disclaimer: I am under the influence of alcohol. All misspellings, which I am SO anal about, are a result of my fingers not doing what I tell them to.

Buzzed blogging. Inebriated emailing. All to replace drunk dialing. Gotta love alliteration.

So. I hope everyone who contacts me and whom I go and meet realizes that I kiss and tell, as I referred to in an earlier blog post. Really, that should be warning enough, I’d think.

Guy emails me with a fantabulous fantasy idea. My profile *asks* guys to email me their fantasies. As an aside: Even if a fantasy doesn’t appeal to me right away, sometimes they kind of incubate in my mind and become a turn-on later on. End of aside. This guy’s fantasy TOTALLY made me hot. Well, except for one little part that was easily fixed. And he emailed his photo in the email. And he was legible.

So, I emailed him back. Unfortunately, at the moment, I’m kind of out of comission for full-on sex. WTF, I’m babbling about all my personal secrets anyway, right? I had a ridiculous allergic reaction to, I think, a new shaving cream I bought. And I keep myself, uhm… trimmed. Bad bad dermatological situation. So, no fucking. Ouch.

But, I happen to love sucking cock. No really. I do. And being told what do. OMG. This guy was so fucking incredibly good at the whole scenario.

You know what? I am *really* too buzzed to give a description that is worthy of the experience.

But, for the titillation of my almost non-existant audience: Major flirtaion (did I mention that this guy is so fucking gorgeous that I could cream my pants just looking at him? No? Well, true.), groping, blindfold…

hey, guy who I’m not actually identifying… what was that about? I mean, no problem and it ended up being weirdly hot, but, what was up with that? Just curious…

… eventually, parked in a not entirely private space, I get to suck cock, orders taken from him — damn good voice for that, too — THEN outSIDE public place, me blindfolded having no idea what the hell is going on and turned on by that, blah blah blah (not that that blah wasn’t also great, but I need to go to sleep soon), mouth-full-of-cum. I *think* I missed some, and I LOVE when I miss some, actually, and get to lick it up, but I was blindfolded! and couldn’t see where it went.

la-di-da.

OMG. This guy must think I’m a total, well, slut. But in a bad way. See? Guys LIKE the idea of a slut *before* they get off. Not so much afterwards. Oh well.

Did I mention I’m not quite sober as I write this?

Good night.

Thank you, I had a wonderful gift last night.
I’m sorry, I was selfish and didn’t give back.

I met up IRL with a man whom I met through Adult FriendFinder.

And he spent the entire time we were together focusing on me.

I told him I felt guilty and selfish about that, and I still do. But, damn, was that nice.
I really do get turned on by pleasing others. I love getting someone excited and seeing and feeling and hearing and tasting that *I* am making them feel good. I could go on and on about that, and maybe I will someday. My point now is that I’m uncomfortable being the one who’s at the center of attention. And I’m definitely not used to it.

Ah, another aside pops into my head: Some might say that there shouldn’t BE one person at the center of attention. That everything should be equal and shared. And that might be true, but personally, I have a very difficult time with *simultaneous* pleasure. I’m easily orgasmic. If I focus. I can’t truly enjoy myself or really feel physical sensations unless that’s all I’m thinking about. I can’t focus on *giving* pleasure if I’m being distracted TOO much by other feelings. So, I close my eyes when I’m having sex, which bothers some. I can’t fully enjoy 69, which disappoints some. What was my point here? Oh yeah. Just wanted to explain why I talk about one person being the center of attention during sex.

Back to what I was saying. And being grateful about.

Somehow, this guy whom I’d never met before, and hadn’t even emailed extensively, made me comfortable enough to just FEEL.
Anyway, it was just really cool.

But, I still feel guilty about it. And selfish.

I told him I’d be writing about my experience with him in my blog, which I think he was okay with. (Right?) And eventually, I probably still will in the sense he probably expected. But, right now I’m just feeling wowed and grateful. Along with the selfish and guilty. I’m kind of still processing what was a very different experience for me.

So, does this posting have a point? Uhm, no, not really.

AdultFriendFinder
selfish
sex
69

Lingerie makes hagglers happy-go-lucky
from news@Nature.

Summed up: Men who were exposed to a higher level of testosterone while in the womb lose their resolve in a gambling situation after being exposed to photos of attractive women, or even just handling a bra.

This article also talks about how you can tell how much testosterone an infant was exposed to in the womb by comparing the lengths of the index and ring fingers. Something that has fascinated me every since I first read about it.

I guess that for most women (?) the index finger is either equal or greater in length than the ring finer. Most men have a longer ring finger. My ring finger is noticeably longer than my index finger, so when I first read this, I thought it must be wrong. But, since then, I’ve noticed that that does seem to be right. Aside: Yes, when I’m straining to look at someone’s hand, I’m not looking for a wedding ring. I’m comparing finger lengths! I haven’t found out yet what that might mean about me. Except that I’m more likely to be a lesbian, I think. I’ve concluded that from various remarks in journal articles, though I don’t think it’s every been explicitly stated that I’ve seen. OTOH, I do wonder if that’s why I have a higher sex drive than most women.

So, Men? Women? How do your index and ring finger lengths compare? How do you think your sex drive compares to others of your sex?

I went on another “date” with the guy I mentioned in an earlier post.

The entire experience was me giving him a blowjob in the parking lot of a local mall. This particular mall used to be the “cool” place to go when I was in high school. Now it’s kind of run-down and a bit sleazy.

I certainly never gave anyone a blowjob in my teen years at that mall. (Or anywhere else, for that matter.)

But, I feel like a normal teenager. The group I hung out with in high school was (IS) a very well-behaved, honor-roll type group. I still find it a weird idea that lots of teenager drink, do drugs, smoke, have sex, etc. We didn’t do any of those things, nor did we know anyone who did. So, I’m doing that now. Well, not the drugs. And I just quit smoking a couple of months ago.

But, c’mon! A blowjob! In a car! In the mall parking lot!

This is too much fun.

I have accidentally discovered something I’ve spent a lot of time trying to invent. My nipples are extraordinarily sensitive. My nipples are like an on button for my entire body. Brush them, pinch them, tease them and my hips start rocking and my pussy gets moist. All inhibitions fall away. If there’s something you want me to do that I’m reluctant to, play with my nipples and I’ll do anything you want.

I really like teasing myself. But, like tickling oneself, it’s very difficult to do. (Ok, I think tickling yourself is actually impossible, but anyway….) I thought it would be great to figure out a way for my nipples to be lightly irritated all day long. Seems like a loose enough shirt in just the right fabric brushing against my tits as I walked would do the trick. Nope. My breasts are 36C. Not huge, but large enough that there’s really no “brushing” involved between my nipples and the fabric. I even tried sandpaper in my bra. Nada. I needed something that would move when I moved.

My nipples are not particularly long, but they do keep their shape even when not fully erect. I’m always showing nip. Often even when wearing a bra. I also tend to get sore, achy breast during my period. So, I have some of those padded, formed cup bras. Quite comfy on sore days and they cover the poking-through nipples when necessary. However, I’m lazy. I don’t handwash my lingerie like I should. I just throw my bras in the washer and dryer along with everything else. This, I think, has made some of those bras with foam cups a bit loose. I’m not even sure where exactly they’ve been stretched… the cups? the straps? the band? I don’t know. But, they are loose. And yet, they still have kept that cupped shape. Guess what that means. My breast gently jiggle inside the cup when I walk. My nipples lightly brush the inside fabric. It is delicious torture. As I said, I’m lazy. But, I just might go for more walks now.

I am definitely an exhibitionist. But I’m a shy exhibitionist. Notice I don’t have anything clearly identifying who I am here.

I’m a verbal exhibitionist. I like doing things — sexual things — sometimes just so I can tell someone about it later on. Hence, this blog, I suppose.

I also get off on the idea of letting guys “accidentally” see me. Wherever I’ve lived, I always keep the curtains or blinds open in the room that I change in. Or, for the times when I lived along, I’d walk around the house nude and no windows would be covered.

I often don’t wear panties when I go out wearing a skirt. And then get on an escalator. I haven’t quite figured out how to flash my tits and my nipples without being totally obvious about it. I have been totally obvioius about it when I’m alone with a guy. Just flashed him. Even the guys who were “just friends” didn’t seem to mind. But, I’m not sure what to wear to do it subtly. Anyone reading this have any advice?

(I’m quite the optimist… I figure sooner or later someone will read this!)

So, in an effort to satisfy my recently raging libido, I put a profile and photo on adultfriendfinder.com.

I’ve already written about the experience — in an email to an ex-boyfriend and in an online forum. (The ex-boyfriend wanted to know, btw.)

I have lots more to say about the people on the site and other aspects of the whole deal, but I’m lazy and for now I’m going to re-post what I’ve already written, edited.

Beginning with the online forum post, which is tame and includes advice. Then the email which is less tame, but not too detailed either.

First I had an almost completely blank profile that explained that I only had a profile because you have to have one in order to browse other profiles and that’s all I wanted to do. I still got random responses from guys who obviously just email any female.

When I finally put the time in to write up an actual profile of who I am and what I was very specifically looking for, the number of responses I got rose A LOT. Still *lots* of junk responses by guys who obviously didn’t read my profile, but also a number from ones who obviously did read it.

I can’t imagine what the mathematical formula would be to demonstrate the increased number of emails I got once I put up a picture. Over 180 emails in two days.

Can I just say that the level of literacy in this country is in a very sad, very very sorry state? I deleted any emails that basically looked as though they were written by someone who was drunk, blind, and typing with their toes. Yes, there were a lot of pictures of male genitalia sent to me. Though this didn’t bother me, sending a “real” photo — face or casual photo made me much more interested in possibly responding. (I guess, as a female, I’m saying this as advice to any guys out there who want to try this.)

I did start emailing someone I met online and we did meet up. He was a completely “normal” guy and I’m very happy I had the guts to actually go through with it and meet someone that I found interesting and attractive. (I’ve explained to some people who answered via email that I was really wondering if so-called normal guys ever used these websites. I know “normal” isn’t the best word to use, but it does seem to convey what I’m trying to say…)

Although it seems as though using these websites is frustrating for guys who outnumber the women, as a woman, having too many responses to wade through, trying to find any that have anything at all to do with the profile you posted is also frustrating. And I really had to get past my politeness instinct in order to just delete some of the emails without any response from me or even looking at the guy’s profile. It still feels rude to do that, but otherwise I was just too overwhelmed and couldn’t begin to take it seriously.

I did respond to one ad on Craigslist Casual Encounters, too, but the answer I got to my response was so… ugh… insulting and horrible… it really put me off on the idea of using that site. Actually, for at least a day, I was pretty sure I never wanted to interact with another MAN every again. Obviously, I got over it. But it was very unpleasant. So, for the women, I’d advise being prepared for some emails like that and you have to be able to not take it personally.

Also, similar to what one of the anon emails above says about filtering when using alt.com, I’m going to rewrite my profile and be very specific about what I will NOT respond to and what I’m NOT interested in. I know I’ll still get the emails that disregard what I wrote, but I think that will make me not feel guilty about deleting them.

Oh, one more bit of advice for guys… if you’ve written a thought out email, included a face photo, have a filled out profile, etc. and you still don’t hear back from a woman you wrote to, give her at least a few days, if not even a few weeks. It may take a while for her to have the time to get back to you with an email that she’s put time into herself and also to get up the courage to answer you. Not that the guys aren’t nervous, too, but I really think that the women are much more so. Just an FYI.

More details:

Where to start?

I like telling guys my fantasies. So, my profile said I was only interested in emailing, not actual meeting. I kind of gave a “preview” of the kind of emails I wanted to exchange. It described my, uhm, oral fixation. Bet you didn’t know I had an oral fixation, did you?
I did start a kind of ongoing story telling email with one guy. The problem is that I get so many responses that it was kind of overwhelming and it would take me a while to get back to the email. (No, not in the same way it takes me a while to get back to yours!) Most guys were more interested in IM than email. I hate IM. No thanks.

Another thing is that guys really like sending pictures of their penis. Really. Let me tell you that, in general, that is not a turnon for women. Not necessarily a turnoff, but not a turn on. Pictures of chest, shoulders, legs, arms — if they guy is in shape — those are a turn on. So, I didn’t *mind* the penis pictures (doesn’t that have a nice ring to it?), but didn’t care much. Then I got an email which had three photos attached. Two totally normal face pictures. The guy was kinda cute. Not drop dead gorgeous, but still good looking. And a picture of the most gorgeous cock I can remember seeing. Seriously. I can’t even tell you why it looked so good. It wasn’t because of size, which I figure any guy hearing this story would immediately assume. The only thing not perfect about it is that he’s circumsized.

And it was an email that was written the way my profile asked it to be written. It wasn’t filled with bad spelling. (Oh, and that was funny that I misspelled “opening” when I was writing that my eyes were closed…. I also at first misspelled “intelligent” in my online profile. How ironic is that?) So, I looked at his profile. Not a lot of detail but he was very clear that he was looking for and loved oral sex. Getting oral sex, I mean. So, I emailed him.

And we emailed a few times back and forth. He emailed me three more photos that were of another woman sucking him. Damn, that really did it to me, I think.

Friday night I sent him an email saying I wanted to meet on Saturday. Even though I hadn’t originally intended to meet anyone for real at all. So, we set up a “date” to meet at a bar Saturday at about 6 p.m. For safety’s sake and all, I was only going to meet him for the first time in a public place. Plus, if we were going to continue the “date” that night, I knew I was going to need a bit of alcoholic inspiration. I recognized him right away when he showed up. He looked exactly like the photos (the non-porn ones). And he was totally normal. Actually, I’ve been on a few dates with guys from “normal” online dating sites and each one of them has seemed to me to be a little weird. A little off. This guy, though, was absolutely normal. And totally nice about the fact that I was extremely nervous.

So, we went back to his place. I wanted one more drink, so he got me a beer. And we talked some. Mostly about sex stuff — like how many people have you slept with, have you ever done this with someone online before, etc. Then he asked me if I was still nervous because he really wanted to kiss me. So I kissed him. And we started groping and making out on his couch. He kind of freaked out — I don’t know if it was Wow! Happy freaked out or freaked-out freaked out — when he discovered that I wasn’t wearing any panties under my dress. That’s when he said we should go to his bedroom.

He only had a bright overhead light in his room. Or else total darkness. No inbetween option. So he turned on the tv in the room and muted it so that gave us some light but not glaring light.

Oh, I forgot. In the email where we were figuring out where and when we were going to meet, he suggested the bar and said there was no need for us to get dinner because he was going to feed me and didn’t want my apetite spoiled. !!!! I swear I’ve fanatsized about a guys saying those exact words to me…

I gave him a long and thorough blow job and when he was ready to come he jerked off and aimed at my mouth. I missed some of his cum and licked it off of him. And I came when I was waiting for him to shoot into my mouth.

Then we kind of flopped down on the bed and I asked him how long he needed to recuperate.
He told me that he could keep himself busy while we waited. He went down on me. He had his fingers inside of me while he used his mouth. He’s only the second guy in my entire life who’s made me come that way.

And then I sucked him off again.

And then I had to leave because he was meeting his friends at a bar at 9 p.m. I was home by 8:30.

And telling you this story is only a bit less exciting for me than the actual experience was. Because “kissing and telling” turns me on.
The end.